Arguments can be avoided and a lot of heartache prevented by being a little careful. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. An argument is one thing you will never win. If you win, you lose; if you lose, you lose. If you win an argument but lose a good job, customer, friend or marriage, what kind of victory is it? Pretty empty. Arguments result from inflated ego.

Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins, the cost may be more than the victory is worth. Emotional battles leave a residual ill will even if you win.

In an argument, both people are trying to have the last word. Argument is nothing more than a battle of egos and results in a yelling contest. A bigger fool than the one who knows it all is the one who argues with him.

Is It Worth It?

The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you have. Even if you are right, is it worth arguing? The answer is pretty obvious. A big no. Does that mean one should never bring up a point? One should, but gently and tactfully by saying something neutral such "based on my as information..." If the other person is argumentative, even if you can prove him wrong, is it worth it? I don't think so. Do you make your point a second time? I wouldn't. Why? Because the argument is coming from a closed mind trying to prove who is right rather than what is right.

For example, at a social get-together, especially after a few drinks, someone may say authoritatively, "The current year's export figures are $50 billion." You happen to know that his information is incorrect and the right figure is $45 billion. You read it in the paper that morning or you heard it on the radio on the way to the get-together and you have a bulletin in your car to substantiate it. Do you make your point? Yes, by saying, "My information is that the export figure is $45 billion." The other person reacts, "You don't know what you are talking about. I know exactly what it is and it is $50 billion."

At this point, you have several choices:

1. Make your point again and start an argument.

2. Run and bring the bulletin from your car and make sure you prove him wrong.

3. Avoid it.

4. Discuss but don't argue.

The right choice is number 3 only. If one wants to accomplish great things in life one has to practice maturity. Maturity means not getting entangled in unimportant things and petty arguments. What is the Difference Between an Argument and a

Discussion?

An argument throws heat; a discussion throws light.

. One stems from ego and a closed mind whereas the other comes from an open mind.

• An argument is an exchange of ignorance whereas a discussion is an exchange of knowledge.

An argument is an expression of temper whereas a

discussion is an expression of logic.

• An argument tries to prove who is right whereas a discussion tries to prove what is right.

It is not worthwhile to reason with a prejudiced mind; it wasn't reasoned into him so you can't reason it out. A narrow mind and a big mouth usually lead to interesting but pointless arguments.

© Shiv Khera

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